You know the one thing worse than some hack giving people
advice on writing? Some hack giving people advice on writing even though said
hack has never published anything significant, that’s what. So blame it on my
inherent, college-ingrained sense of self-worth that I’m going to talk a little
bit about word choice today; but hey, if Harold Bloom can go off and declaim
writers even though he’s never done real writing in his life, then so can I!
This post began a few weeks ago when I, on a whim, bought a
book by a newish author who shall not be named--we'll bestow this author the obnoxious moniker of Author-in-question, for anonymity's sake.
I try to do this--that is, buy books from relative unknowns--when I have a
couple of dimes to rub together, and as an English major said times are usually
few and far between. But it was a mass-market paperback and one day when I get my
book deal I would want some young scamp to take a chance on my book, so with the hopes of deferred karmic recompense I
bought this novel and settled down to read it…
…and couldn’t finish it.
Question: am I ruined by quality? Or—let’s be honest here—perhaps not
quality, but pretension? Am I forever doomed to hold texts to a higher standard
simply because I’ve been exposed to the highest of the high so many times?
Maybe, yes. There’s a popular misconception about all art nowadays that
everyone’s opinion is correct and that a critic’s opinion—the voice of someone
who has far more experience with a respective medium—holds no more weight than
a yokel who sees one movie or reads one book a year. And while Art is, of
course, subjective, and while no one can say whether someone’s opinion is
“right,” it certainly is true that someone’s opinion can be, shall we say, more informed.
If I was say, a plumber, and some commodities broker hired me to
fix his bathroom, and then started lecturing me on what he thought was wrong and
how I should fix it, I would probably be pretty miffed, right? Maybe would say
something along this lines of how I was trained to do this and have experience
at it and you don’t? No one would question that. But someone saying that they
might have more insight or a wider perspective on art because they’ve studied
it for two decades gets lambasted for being pretentious, esoteric, and haughty.
Now it doesn’t help that a lot of people who say they have
insight and perspective are
pretentious, esoteric, and haughty—but the point still stands. Roger Ebert’s
not going to be impressed by the same movie someone who’s watched three movies
in their lifetime will be. Doesn’t make the latter wrong for liking a movie,
just without a wider perspective.
PICTURED: Pretension. |
With that being said, what I’m about to say here is entirely
in line with the classic English Major syndrome, that is a focus on language at
the expense of other aspects of the novel. And the sad part is that the plot
of the novel in question is rather interesting. Neat characters and
dynamics, a sort of Borgia-esque internecine can’t-trust-anyone family scheme, cool stuff. Yet I still couldn’t finish, and the entire reason I
couldn’t was word choice.
This is why I ponder whether over-exposure to literature has
sort of ruined me for the average genre milieu. Would someone who hasn’t studied texts for years not be able to finish a book just because of word
choice? Certainly the book is well-known enough to be read, so obviously
someone doesn’t care, but why do I?
We have the make a distinction here: by word choice, I don’t
necessarily mean “writing.” Author-in-question's writing is serviceable. Nothing
special, but it does its work and sometimes comes through with splashes of latent ability. It’s not the writing
as a whole that’s in question here. It’s how the author specifically moves
along and describes character actions.
In an average two-spread, the main character “stiffens” in
reaction to outside stimuli an average of three to four times. She stiffens to
bad news, to unexpected news, to unexpected turns of events, to suspicion, to
physical contact, to emotional contact. She stiffens in the cold night air and
stiffens in the hot summer sun. She stiffens by land or by sea. She stiffens
when alone or when sleeping with a god.
Of course that’s not the only instance. The main character
and most of the supporting characters have a tendency to look surprised, be
surprised, stay surprised. And they’re smiling. All sorts of smiles of all
shapes and sizes and intentions. She smiled menacingly. She smiled mischievously.
She smiled happily. She smiled sadly. She smiled with treachery in her eyes. She grinned—fitfully,
remorselessly, bathykolpianly. I made it through two thirds of the book reading about the variations and different kinds of smiles, and then I just could not take it any more,
and the characters and story—despite being interesting, were not involving
enough to make up for it as in, say, the Harry Potter series.
It’s apparent what happened here, starting with the status
of Author-in-question, who is not Stephen King, George RR Martin, or even
Joe Abercrombie. Undoubtedly, Author-in-question is under weight of both contract and
fiduciary concerns. Author-in-question has to keep cranking out books, and has to make a
living while doing it. This leads to sloppy and repetitive writing. Author-in-question has cranked out five books in a three year period. That’s tough,
guys. That’s very tough. And by no means is it a knock on Author-in-question; I’m not
saying that Author-in-question (Note to self: Am really starting to appreciate pronouns. --E) should be “taking the sanctity of the art more
seriously” and spending three years making sure every single phrase is unique
and eloquent. It’s simply the way it is. To write even a short novel—that is
approx. 50,000 words or what NaNoWriMo asks for—takes about a month, and when
those are finished they usually aren’t very good. A seventy thousand word novel
written at even a quick pace can take two months or three, if you’re lucky. With
bills to be paid and contracts to be met, there’s much less time to edit said
novel before sending it off to the publishing editors, who aren’t
going to call the author and say “Um, you know, is there another modifier we
can use here instead of stiffen?”
This leads into the second attribute of this kind of word
choice, which is the intractable rule “show, don’t tell,” a saying that pops up
so many times in a creative major that they should just emblazon it over the
door. See, Author-in-question understands that you can’t
(or rather, can’t and maintain any credibility) just say, over and over again:
She felt shock about that news. “I can’t believe the news I
just heard!”
She felt shock about him touching her. “I can’t believe you
touched me!”
This is in clear violation of the “show, don’t tell” policy.
So instead, the character stiffens. She stiffens in reaction to every shocking
turn of events. Or the characters smile/grin. They smile/grin so much that you
could replace them with Disney mascots and probably no one would notice. This
is all in an effort to find a way to display the characters sudden surprise
without “telling” us, but ironically it’s overused to the point that it’s
basically what the Author-in-question's doing anyway. “She stiffened” basically becomes a
stand in for “she was surprised,” which defeats the whole purpose of saying
“She stiffened” in the first place.
Question: how could Author–in-question have fixed this
problem?
Answer: I don’t know if Author-in-question could.
Writing is hard, people, as I have elucidated in previous posts, and it’s especially hard when you’re under contract, and especially
especially hard when you have bills to pay, and especially especially
especially hard when you’re not Faulkner or Thomas Wolfe or David Foster
Wallace.
The greatest writers somehow create an atmosphere without
speech modifiers, but where you understand how the characters are speaking
anyhow. A sort of tacit adverb. Which is what “stiffening” in the case of this novel amounts to. It’s an adverb by another name. To wit:
I stiffened. “That’s not a nice
thing to say.”
Is just a different way of saying.
“That’s not a nice thing to say,” I
said, surprised/angry/confused.
And the true geniuses out there find ways to make the
dialogue work without over-reliance on these types of modifiers. They use them,
but as a tool and not a means to lean on to describe character action without
violating the inviolable “show, don’t tell.”
But this author, and 99% of all authors/writers/pretenders (the last one including yours truly), don’t have the luxury of such an inherent grasp of language and
cadence. Instead, we have to make do
with other tools and tricks of the trade, and one of the most overlooked is the
thesaurus.
PICTURED: Making a comeback. |
The thesaurus has really gotten a bad rap in recent memory.
It used to be a go-to tool for people concerned about word choice, but too many
pedants ruined it. Now it’s almost anathema to use a thesaurus, because, of
course, people who do are trying to impress others. Or don’t have the chops to
come up with words on their own, and no writer should admit that they can’t
come up with words on their own.
Of course, most writers can’t
come up with words on their own, not at will, not in the manner Saul Bellow
can, and in this way a thesaurus can prove invaluable.
That’s not to say it isn’t a delicate situation to use one,
so be forewarned. Because you should not aspire to subsist in the comportment
of individuals who utilize the lexicon in regard to every particular utterance
transcribed to papyrus; those are the people who ruined the thesaurus to begin
with. But when you’re writing and you discover that you’ve used the word
“stiffened” to describe character reaction for the fiftieth time? There are
worse things to do than pop open a thesaurus, even if just to inspire another
turn of phrase, or a means to get across what you’re saying in a different and
perhaps more effective way.
Stephen King, in On
Writing, advises that you should use the first word that comes to your
head, if it’s vivid and descriptive. And while that’s for the most part true, a
lot of people eschew the second clause. Sometimes a word pops into our
heads, and it’s adequate—but we know it’s not getting across the full oomph of what you’re trying to imply.
It’s a subtle nudge in the back of a writer’s head that the word they’re using,
while it gets the point across, doesn’t quite hammer it home.
For example, say you’re writing a character whom you want
the Reader to know is an inveterate, creepy skeeze. You do this through
dialogue and action. And so you have him say:
“That dress is very becoming on
you,” he said, smirking.
Now certainly this line characterizes this guy as a schmuck
at best. But that’s not what you’re going for. You want a creep factor too. You
want the Reader not only wary of the character, but to possess a specific type of wariness. A smirking guy
commenting on a woman’s clothing is something a douchebag you need to watch out
for would do. But it’s not getting across the creepiness factor—and you’re
drawing a blank. You know there’s a better word for this, but you can’t think
of it. Don’t worry. It happens. So you open up your thesaurus and—
Bam! Perfect!
“That dress is very becoming on
you,” he said, leering.
Both words mean basically the same thing; but one is stronger than the other, and implies
something totally different. Now, the guy’s not just a worthless playboy, but a
worthless playboy who also carries an insidious air of predation. The word
“leer” even sounds creepy—off, somehow. It’s a sound an animal would make while
being brutally and slowly killed. Much more effective, condenses the narrative,
and in one word characterizes the guy perfectly.
So don’t be afraid of the thesaurus if you’re facing
deadline and need to get a draft to the editors. Don’t overuse it, of course:
that defeats the purpose, and simply using a synonym for “stiffen” every time
will become just as noticeable as simply using “stiffen” every time. But as a
spice, it’s a great, easy way to vary the writing, and could possibly remind
you or inspire a turn of phrase or a means of getting across your characters
actions that’s better than anything you’ve thought of before.
Until next time,
Mr. E